We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
