Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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