we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
