I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
