Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
