If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
