Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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