I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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