Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
