I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
