I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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