But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
