I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
