i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
