i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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