2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
