In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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