This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
