I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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