who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
