I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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