Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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