There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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