I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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