i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
and she was petting her beer can
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
