Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
