Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
