I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
