so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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