Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Everyone says I win the strip club
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
