I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
