After last night, I could never be a politician.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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