Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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