Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
