I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
