Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
