I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
