I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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