Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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