You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
