You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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