Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
