I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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