The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
