kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
