I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize