I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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