Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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