when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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