i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
